More than i used to before I met her.

Being with her sent me back as much as it propelled me forward

So i continue to exist in a paradox

And yet that very realization itself is forward fuel

I still don’t understand why I was crying yesterday. Maybe it was just overwhelming going out with new friends wearing makeup for the first time, no deeper than that.

Astonishingly, no one seemed to really care either way. It felt really good to feel accepted and not sneered at. I think I’ll do it more often.